It was very close to Christmas, the Christmas after her husband died. We stopped by over at their farm across the street for a “brief” visit but it turned into an hour or so. We started to talk about sewing and she was showing me some of her projects she had made around the house, in the basement, upstairs and in particular, this really cool purse she made from a placemat. She encouraged me in my sewing. I even called her two weeks ago with a “sewing emergency” to ask her a question.

She was the “domestic diva” I long to be. Her and our friend Irene – I swear someday I’ll be that good. She was a great sewer, cook, mother and more. Every time we walked in the door from the garage, KJ the dog was there to greet us along with this aroma of something delicious on the stove. I remember in particular coming in one day to smell these cabbage rolls. Oh, sweet yummy cabbage rolls. She said to me, “Oh honey, these are so easy!” to which I replied, “yeah right…for you maybe!”. She gave me the quick lesson in how she made them and I’ve tried half a dozen times to replicate her masterpiece and only the last time did I feel like I achieved success. Not as good as hers but my own kind of good.

She was super friendly and would grab my girls into her arms for a huge hug and then hold their faces in her hands and give them a huge kiss every time she saw them. She’d tell us she loved us and made us feel like we were family. I hope that my house feels that warm to people when they come over to visit. My life goal when I was little always included my career aspirations of being a park ranger but now having done all that for 12 years – my true life calling and what really brings me happiness is domesticity. Silly isn’t it? You think modern little girls want all the glitz, glamour, and big career – and all I dream about is cool things to make with my kids, foods that taste so good they’ll tell their kids about it long after I’m gone, and a house that is welcoming to all our friends and family…to be a good artist, in sewing, in crafting, in painting, in creating an atmosphere that is colorful and creative and warm in our house. Of course, I did always dream of living on a farm and all the dust and love and good food and home crafts that comes with it. In many ways, I do feel like I’m living my dream.

I knew Carol had been sick but I didn’t know she had cancer. She didn’t want anyone to know. So it was a surprise to find out she passed away on Monday. I was glad I had called her recently because at least I got to tell her we were thinking of her, praying for her. I offered to take her some food and bring the baby for a visit but she said she just wasn’t up for visitors and her kids were staying with her and taking care of her. She said, “Thank ya honey – I love ya for thinking of me”. I know she meant it. Last night, I made this skirt – in all these patches in memory of Carol. She was a quilter and I thought I would wear this to the funeral to honor her but it seemed a little too wild for such an occasion. I told her daughter about it and she smiled. I know Carol is giggling about it too – I think she would have approved.